B-Side Community

(written October 10, 2006) This weekend I attended the South Asian International Film Festival in NYC, and saw a segment of documentaries by emerging directors. As fate would have it, the subways of all three of us who were convening for the event were running late, not in service, etc., and we didn't get into the theater until thirty minutes into the presentation. We caught the last minutes of the 2nd short film, and then began the main lengthier piece – A documentary called "Made in India?" by Deepti Paul. My family hails from South India. My parents had a "love marriage" I am the eldest sibling. There are four of us, three girls with a boy as the youngest. I have completed college, and I don't want to be a doctor, therefore there lies no excuse for me not to get married ASAP. And it seems that the most important wish of my parents and elder relatives in India is for me to get married to a good boy with a good job and bright future. This is me, and this is Deepti Paul. Our main difference is that the pressure my family exudes for my marital status to change is miniscule compared to what she has experienced, driving her to the point of acceptance of making a trip to India for the purpose of entertaining the thought of an "arranged" marriage. Her documentary follows the history of her youth in America, starting with her family basics and flashing back to the story of her parents' coming together. She comes back to the issues that many young Indian-Americans face in terms of balancing pressure to get married with their own self-induced pressure to figure out who they are. The film does an amazing job of educating the first generation immigrant parents and guardians of the plights of their children, and it does an equally amazing job of giving an illustrated view to which so many first generation offspring can relate. There were so many moments where I thought, "That is so me/my family/my siblings/my opinion." And there were other moments during which I respectfully admired the ability the director had in displaying what made her family the Paul family, and what made Deepti as Deepti could be best defined – two people with distinct minds held within one body, trying to sort out how to reach an internal compromise to achieve social symbiosis and overall peace of mind. There is quite a bit more I'd like to say about certain scenes and characters in the film, but I don't want to exploit its charm for future viewers. If every Indian-American community could view this film, I think it would be the first of many steps in the great stride to bridge the gap between generations, those that are clearly Made in India, and those that have yet to really know where their homes lie.